Monday, October 01, 2012

A good walk ruined

Expressions not to be believed: the people who ring while you’re having dinner and say they’re not going to try to sell you anything. (I always put in an extra space between “who” and “ring” to avoid any risk of misinterpretation - especially during dinner.) Another credulity challenge is, “our software is now even more user-friendly and will save you eons of time”, which has about the same level of credibility as, “Of course I’ll respect you in the morning”. I used to have a rather nice header to this blog, but I tried to update it with the miraculous new software – and now look at it. Can anyone tell me how to unshrink my blog heading so that it goes right across the page? Tried the new software - even tried those e-mails that claim to stretch anything - but to no avail. I see myself as a sports fan, but I always make an exception of golf, which I see as about as sportive as synchronised swimming, darts or tiddlywinks. It’s just snooker on grass. But, having stayed up until 2.30 this morning to watch the Ryder Cup on TV, I may have to reconsider: we were totally rapt, and although we could have got the result online immediately, refused, preferring the nail-biting tension. But was it sport? Or was it nationalism: plucky Brits brave Chicago cyclones and humble golf Goliaths – a sort of Boston Tea Party in reverse? We’re taking on the French at p├ętanque next – in Marseilles. Staying with a relative in West Texas once, he suggested a game of golf; “a bit of exercise”, he said. At the golf course he had someone place two bags of clubs onto an electric cart and off we went. Half-way round, he asked if I would like to drive, and I said yes, so we returned to the clubhouse and he had someone change the bags of clubs over so that our respective bags were immediately behind us. “No point in walking any further than necessary”, he said.